Identity.

"Find your identity in Christ." We've all heard it. We've probably even said it once or twice. But what does it really mean? If you're looking for an answer to that question, you've come to the wrong place because I don't have one. I'm still trying to figure out what exactly it means to have an identity in Christ. My identity is not found in Christ, but in an illness. An illness I've been writing about for the past month or so. You heard me right, my identity is in my depression. I don't know exactly how or why I got to this place, but I know it needs to change sooner rather than later.

I've been depressed literally for as long as I can remember. I started feeling depressed at age thirteen and because of a series of concussions I sustained in my teenage years, I don't remember much before about age fifteen. My depression has at times been so consumingly overwhelming that all I can do is sleep. It has left me bedridden for days and even weeks at a time and has caused me to lose everything I once held dear. It has taken so much from me and has given only pain and heartache in return. So why would I ever find my identity in it?

Because it has never abandoned me.

See, the thing is, almost everything else will eventually abandon you. People and pets will die or fall out of your life at one time or another. Jobs will come and go. Talents and abilities can only get you so far before you find someone who is better than you. It seems that everything that we stake our hope in will fail us. But my depression has never let me down. I can always count on it to be there when I'm at my worst. Even when I'm at my best, it still shows up sooner or later. It will always be there when I'm alone with no one to turn to. It will never back out when things get hard. It simply won't go away.

But there is one fatal problem with placing your identity in depression.

It will never fill you with joy. Only Christ can do that. And guess what... He will never leave you nor forsake you (Deut 31:6, Josh 1:5, Heb 13:5). So I'm on a quest. A quest to find my identity in Something greater than my depression. I want to find my identity in Christ alone because I know he will fulfill every need I have.